BIG TROUBLE

REVIEWED BY CHARITY BISHOP

Our rating: 2 out of 5

Because of: sexual innuendo, harsh abuse of deity

Rated:

Life never goes as planned. If it hadn't been for 9/11, this film would have a lot more time at the box office. If it hadn't been for a suitcase with what looks like a garbage disposal in it, these people's lives would have been simplified to the extreme. If it hadn't been for the vile language and innuendo, this film could have been hilarious. Even so, yes, there are plenty of laughs, but just as many cringe moments. We're all in Big Trouble.

Eliot Arnold's life stinks. He picked the wrong day to tick off his boss and went from a Pulitzer-prize winning journalist to the owner of a two-bit advertising company. Fresh out of a divorce, his teenage son Matt thinks he's a looser. His life is about to significantly change, when his son and a friend borrow his "loser car" for a night of "kill the girl." It so happens that this violently-titled activity is a game at the local high school: a random person is selected, and an assassin chosen... to squirt her with a water gun. Their predetermined "target" is Jenny, the daughter of a pair of wealthy and unhappily married socialites. Her stepfather, Arthur, has a fetish for feet. Her mom, Anna, is a blonde bombshell. Their dog has been eating dirt since a poisonous toad moved into the neighborhood, and chose his feed dish as a permanent restaurant. Only what Matt doesn't know is that Arthur has been targeted by a couple of real assassins hired by the company who just found out Mr. Wealthy has been skimming funds.

Matt shows up to squirt Jenny with his realistic-looking water gun the same night the assassins arrive to take out her stepfather. Eliot comes to bail his son out and meets Anna, who's seriously considering divorcing her lousy husband. Are you confused yet? No? Well, throw in a homeless guy with a love for Frito chips, two illiterate ex-cons, a Spanish maid, two mismatched cops, and a Russian bar full of nukes, and you have Big Trouble... particularly when they all get thrown together into one humorous mess.

I wouldn't have expected anything less of the director of Men in Black.  This story has a crazy plot, insane characters, and mocks just about everything it can sink its teeth into. The Big Trouble here is timing... after 9/11, a mockery of cops, FBI agents, airport security guards, and nukes on board planes isn't so funny anymore. Beyond the obvious problems in content, several things offended me: namely, the FBI agents who are more inclined to be bullies than sensible federal employees. There are a few running gags that actually work: the references to Martha Stewart, and the water gun game. Not to mention the pair of jail junkies who rob a bar wearing a pair of pantyhose over their heads... that they can't see through.

Beyond that, the filming style really got on my nerves. They were constantly freeze-framing, which makes the editing choppy. But beyond that lies the root of the flaws: the offensive sexual references and utterly profane language. Innuendo finds its way into the script, mostly between the teenagers, although a few seemingly innocent remarks actually carry double meaning. One running gag involves a dog who likes to sniff people's crotches. The opening scene involves a man ranting about an ad for fish bait; he makes it clearly evident that he wants half-naked girls with fully developed bodies in the ad, NOT fish! He often uses offensive slang for women's breasts, as do some of the teenagers later in the film.

Arthur comes into the maid's room and proceeds to lick between her toes before she gets grossed-out and leaves. His wife Anna has a passionate fling with Eliot in his office. They stumble around the room smooching and knocking things over before falling over the desk. We see backside nudity as a cop runs through an airport naked. This experience leads him to be a male stripper; we briefly see him wearing a thong on stage. Violence is moderate, but a few people do get beat up; others are threatened with guns. The language is also a major problem. Two abuses of Jesus, and over a dozen uses of GD litter a script otherwise tarnished with sexual slang and uses of s-words. Every other line has a profanity in it. Arthur, Stanley Tucci's character, uses GD as every other word in several scenes. It's played for humor, but is actually offensive. 

Overall, the film has a funny premise, and a lot of the scenes do carry some great humor; but weigh your family down with the off-color jokes and crude gags and you might find yourself in Big Trouble.