HOW TO STEAL A MILLION

REVIEWED BY CHARITY BISHOP

Our rating: 4 out of 5

Because of: innuendo

Rated:

The pairing of then-well-known Audrey Hepburn with Peter O'Toole, recently world-renowned for Lawrence of Arabia, was sheer genius; this cunning and sublime romantic caper will steal the hearts of almost everyone who sees it. Even though it centers around a stolen piece of art, there's more to the story than it first appears. This is no Entrapment, where the thieves get off Scott-free... this movie has a few surprises up its lace-edged sleeves. The film opens with the sale of a valuable painting by Van Gough for several hundred thousand pounds. With a twist, we learn that it was actually forged by Charles Bonnet, a master painter with a gleesome grin for cash. His daughter Nicole (Hepburn) is of a more moralistic nature and fears that one day he'll go to far and be caught. Concerned for propriety and their sense of welfare, she begs him to give up the family profession, and is distraught when he agrees to lend a museum their small statue, Venus, another forged piece of art.

On the opening night of the exhibit at the museum, Nicole is left alone in the house and discovers an intruder. Arming herself with an old pistol off one of the decorated walls of the upper corridor and looking unintentionally ridiculous in her pink nightgown, she confronts him just as he lifts her father's latest "masterpiece" off the wall. The thief, Simon Dermott (O'Toole), is charming, suave, and surprisingly cynical and fearful. Fearing that arresting him would arouse unwanted attention toward the forged painting, Nicole agrees to let him go. Simon has been wounded unintentionally in the arm with her pistol and when he puts up a horrible fuss, she's forced to drive him home... which is fortunate, for in the next few days she's going to need his experience in the world of crime. The following day news comes that in order for the Venus to be insured for a million dollars, certain papers must be signed. Once this is done, they reveal that an expert is coming in a few days to test for authenticity... a point that could destroy the Bonnet's... due to the fact it, too, is a forgery. 

Nicole knows that unless she does something their reputation will be in shatters and her father will go to jail. Being the kind, considerate daughter she is, she devises a daring scheme to keep the man from examining Venus, while making eyes at Simon and fighting off an American tycoon who wants her hand in marriage on the side. Both humorous and often cynical, with many great cinematic moments between Hepburn and O'Toole, it's not hard to see why this has become a classic. I enjoyed this film immensely and it's swiftly become a family favorite.

The way in which they determine to steal the Venus is brilliant and some of Simon's little tricks steal the show. People are never what they seem... and the script keeps us guessing about Simon's true reasons for being inside the Bonnet household that night... and for agreeing to help Nicole. Although the romance is a bit rushed, it's also hilarious when taken into context. There is some mild innuendo, mainly centering around the naked marble figurine of Venus (thankfully details aren't prominent) and occasional profanity. Some of the paintings in the museum are nudes. It's rare we see Hepburn in a comic role, but she proves her worth well. Her reactions are excellent, even to the pert little lift of her nose when irritated. I'd never seen O'Toole before; this is the film that started my interest in his long and fascinating career. There are a few moral cravats that will concern parents of younger children but most are played for humor. Nicole's father Charles has no conscience about forgery and actually finds that he's doing the earlier artist a favor ("He only sold one of his paintings when he was alive; I've already sold two!"). 

We're left with the impression that even despite a good talking to, he'll continue to forge as long as he can hold a brush. With a little bit of everything (suspense, action, romance, comedy) and a twist ending that'll knock your socks off, How to Steal a Million is rare fun.