LOVE AT FIRST BITE

REVIEWED BY CHARITY BISHOP

Our rating: 3 out of 5

Because of: sexual humor, language

Rated:

Throughout history, mankind has loved to make fun of things that scare them. Some of the best parodies involve enough truth as to the original to make audiences familiar with the irony smirk. Love at First Bite is just such a film: there's enough Bram Stoker to keep its feet firmly planted on the ground, but everywhere else is fraught with sarcasm.

The country of Transylvania has housed the minion of darkness for several centuries while the world outside has changed. Count Dracula (George Hamilton) has grown weary of being alone in his night-flying adventures. He has fallen in love with a woman on the cover of an American fashion magazine and swears that one day he will welcome her into eternity to become his bride. When the government seizes his menacing castle to use as a training facility for soldiers, Dracula is resigned to traveling the world. With the assistance of his bug-eating servant Renfield (Arte Johnson), Dracula and coffin are mailed to New York City. After scaring a church congregation half to death by popping up out of his coffin, Dracula attempts to acquaint himself with modern culture, where televisions are in every hotel room, and his 1936 copy of English slang is very little help. His wanderings lead him to Central Park, where the love of his life is involved in a fashion shoot.

Cindy Sondheim (Susan Saint James) is a successful model bored with her life. She picks up men in bars for brief flings to fulfill the emptiness of her existence, and is hardly impressed when a cloak-clad count sweeps into her life. One turn with him on the dance floor at a nightclub, and she is smitten beyond belief. He is a consummate dancer, a passionate lover, and a charming flatterer who swears that he is eternally devoted to her. This prompts insane jealousy in her sometimes lover and psychiatrist, Jeffery Rosenberg (Richard Benjamin). He comes from a long line of vampire slayers, and his great grandfather nearly killed Dracula in the late 1800's. The two telltale marks on her neck signify the presence of a vampire, and set the two men at odds as they both fight for Cindy's affection and attempt to undermine one another's attempts to win her over. What ensues is pandemonium and hilarity.

I can see why this film was very popular on its release: it takes everything we know about vampires and turns it on its head, rattling out a highly amusing snicker at all things morbid. The best scenes involve a warped twist on something of importance to vampire lore, such as Dracula listening to the wolves howl and then screaming for them to shut up, or popping up out of a coffin midway through a funeral service. George Hamilton was the ideal casting choice, since he could easily play a serious version of the role. He's dark, handsome, sinister, mysterious, and dry-witted. Renfield is the real gem here, possessed of a positively delightful little cackle and beady eyes. The film pretty much mocks everything from modern culture to bygone eras, and has a wonderful collection of sarcastic dialogue and witty puns. It's not outright as hilarious as I anticipated, but did keep me grinning throughout.

While everything is presented comically, there are some content issues to be forewarned about. Language pops up occasionally, the worst being half a dozen uses of s***t. There isn't any violence except for a bat attacking and biting people, and Rosenberg being knocked unconscious in an elevator by a priest. A dog lifts his leg and pees on a policeman. Sexual implications and innuendos are more prevalent. Renfield gives his master girl magazines (we don't see the pictures). Dracula complains about how modern society is so obsessed with sex. Cindy invites him back to her place for some fun, and he complies. She comes out of her room wearing mildly skimpy lingerie. They fall back onto the bed and he bites her neck. The following morning has her in therapy, talking about how great their sex was. Another scene shows them laying beside one another in bed. It's never overdone but could have been tamed down a little bit where dialogue was concerned. Overall it's an enjoyable spoof that fans of Mel Brooks' type comedy will enjoy, but has more intelligence than most parodies.