MOONSTRUCK

REVIEWED BY CARISSA HORTON

Our rating: 2 out of 5

Because of: sexual content

Rated:

Loretta Castorini (Cher) is determined that bad luck proved to be the downfall of her first marriage and ultimate demise of her husband. There will be no such mistakes the second time around, which she proves as she instructs her husband-to-be Johnny Cammareri (Danny Aiello) how to kneel and hold her hand as he proposes to her, hoping against hope that this second marriage will get "it" right. 

But Johnny won’t marry her immediately. His mother’s health continues to decline and as her end nears, she wants Johnny at her side in Italy. Once she’s gone, he’ll return and participate in the wedding as promised. Until then, Johnny needs Loretta to make peace with his baby brother, Ronny (Nicolas Cage), whom he hasn’t spoken to in five years. Loretta’s mother Rose (Olympia Dukakis) is also having man trouble at this particular time, convinced that her husband Cosmo (Vincent Gardenia) is either losing interest in her, or indulging in an affair to make him feel young. Now Loretta struggles to keep her parent’s marriage from disintegrating, in edition to meeting the volatile brother of her fiance. Ronny proves a bitter and angry young man, revealing to Loretta that his brother’s inaction is behind him losing a hand in a freak accident and simultaneously, his fiancé. For whatever hidden motives, Loretta is drawn to Ronny and accompanies him to his apartment, perhaps to assuage his suddenly violent outbursts of rage and attempt a reconciliation between brothers. Whatever her motives may have been, things go too far between them and soon Loretta finds herself embroiled in an emotionally ticking time-bomb only waiting for Johnny’s return to explode.

Having never seen the actress side of Cher, I didn’t know what to expect from her as an actress. She pleasantly surprised me with her sardonic humor and instant chemistry with every actor on the screen, including Nicolas Cage who appeared to be struggling until about three-fourths of the way through the film. But then it’s not every actor who can delve wholeheartedly into the role of the depressed, violent, and idiotic man you see on the screen as Ronny Cammareri. Some lines he manages gracefully but completely bungles others. The ridiculous assumed tough man voice combined with a false Italian accent worsened his performance. He behaves like a neanderthal, growling, throwing his weight around, wearing a several day old stubble and sleeveless t-shirts to accentuate his biceps. For the record, his looks improve once he shaves, but that voice never changes.

Any violent behavior stems from Ronny who overturns tables and generally misbehaves until Loretta "reforms" him. There is mention of a man getting his hand caught in a bread slicer. Language is much more prevalent, containing several uses of sh*t and abuses of the Lord’s name. An unfortunate edition. But the sexual content wins out. We have one character indulging in an affair simply because he has a fear of dying (never seen). Another woman sleeps with a man whom she knows she shouldn’t have, but wants anyway. They’re seen once on top of the bed, moving fully clothed. A woman talks about seeing love bites on her daughter’s neck and the neck of a young man.

What began as a cute movie quickly declined into an immoral maelstrom of desire, efficiently upsetting any interest a Christian audience might hold. Loretta attends confession, goes away, and commits the same sin she confessed a second time. A male character pronounces that they are not meant to be perfect like the stars and snowflakes, but are of a baser nature and must make use of their time in pursuing pleasure. It’s the typical "Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die" mentality. Not only is it a complete crock, but it’s also a complete waste of space and film. Plus, Loretta holds a firm conviction that bad luck has always been her downfall in love.

These characters, even through their obvious weaknesses, are likeable, especially Loretta who struggles with her decisions. But she still makes the wrong ones, indulging her own sexual obsessions, while not graphically seen, and almost ruining her life. A happy ending somehow manages to emerge, but even then, you wonder how long it will last. I watched strictly for Nicolas Cage, and he did a very few decent scenes. But even then, I did not find myself Moonstruck.