THE MUMMY RETURNS

REVIEWED BY CHARITY BISHOP

Our rating: 3 out of 5

Because of: sensuality, violence, language, thematic elements

Rated:

This is the last time I let my boyfriend pick the movie. I swore I'd never go back to another Mummy film, and yet here I am, reviewing the first of a long scale of summer sequels. The Mummy Returns takes place roughly ten years after Rick O'Connel and Evie kicked Imhotep's duff back into the netherworld. Only Imhotep isn't quite finished with earth yet. He's back, madder and more insistent than ever, with a host of demon forces behind him. 

Evie and Rick are married, and the parents of an eight-year-old son, who is kidnapped by Imhotep as part of his plan to unleash evil upon the world through the powers of a Scorpion King who sold his soul in exchange for immortality. The adventurers have discovered an ancient bracelet that will release this force of evil, and must exchange it for the life of young Freddie. The film seems to rely heavily upon the first installment as far as creativity -- and that's the basic outline of the plot. It's not a "boy likes girl, girl hates boy, girl loves boy, boy dies" story -- this is more of a "bad dead guy takes over, good guys fight, demons kick good guys around, good guys finally win" tale. 

Void of any originality, we again are "entertained" by a host of squeamish moments, scarabs crawling through flesh, skeletons coming back to life, rotting corpses, and bad theology. The Mummy himself aside, the film deteriorates the lines between good and evil. Reincarnation is a prime central story point as we discover that sweet, quiet Evie is actually Princess Nefretiri reincarnate. (The wife of Rameses II, whom Moses spoke to about allowing the Israelites out of Egypt -- but you can rest assured that principle won't be mentioned in this story.)

Powers are gained through sorcery and chants. And what about the afterlife? Evie is killed, and apparently goes to heaven... but doesn't stay there. Freddie gets out the good old Book of the Dead and resurrects Mom, who then asks if they want to know what heaven looks like. Excuse me? With Egyptian gods, demons, and curses in abundance, the Christian "heaven" seems strangely out of place and convenient. Strangely enough, later Rick is nearly pulled into the underworld. Is it common for a reincarnate Nefretiri to go to heaven, and her 1933 husband to be pulled into zombie zone? By the usual standards, the special effects are pretty impressive, albeit gory. Indiana Jones lovers will no doubt enjoy two and a half hours of Indiana Jones-like narrow escapes, rotting mummies and flesh-eating scarabs; however, parents and wary teenagers will be driven off by the crossed theology, occultic elements, and overall gore of the film itself. 

As previously mentioned, scarabs crawl inside people's skin, even to the point of exploding. Partially-decomposed corpses, men torn apart, and "borrowing" skin from other life forms is just a hint of what's to come. Violence is in abundance, with many unsettling moments of extreme combat, gunfire, explosions, and a great deal of running, hiding, and screaming. Language is minimal, but the illusion of nudity is as present as it was in part one. Imhotep's mistress, the wife of the pharaoh, is again seen in her mesh top and thong bottom, leaving very little to the imagination. Nefretiri and another "princess" are also scantily clad; there's a moderate amount of cleavage and some innuendo between a married couple.

If you liked the first one, you'll tolerate the second. As is the case with many overblown sequels, it replays too many elements from the first movie to make it original. The storyline is cheap, relying on special effects and epic grandeur to bring the money rolling in. It has a few good moments, some witty dialogue, and as always, it's a pleasure to see Rachael Weisz and Brendan Fraiser teamed up, but overall, it's a cheesy remake. People who aren't turned off by skewed theology might find it entertaining, but for most, this show's a no-go.