Unless you're completely out of the modern culture loop, you've probably heard of Anne Rice, the author who "reformed the vampire cult classics." Her books always have grotesque covers and boast of bloodthirsty exploits, but are more tales about the individuality of the vampire than rampant slaughter. Only two of her novels thus-far have been filmed, the most popular being Interview With a Vampire. Queen of the Damned is a poor attempt to capture fans' interest by involving her most famous vampire, Lestat, in a paper-thin plot with no redeeming value and not even a very interesting premise.

With thousands of years underneath his belt, and little interest in human preservation, brooding and egocentric Lestat (Stuart Townsend) decides to take a break from the living for awhile. Curled up in his coffin for several hundred generations, he emerges when music awakens him from a deep sleep. The soothing music of heavy metal. Revealing his true self to several members of a local garage band, Lestat promises them fame and fortune. Rapidly they rise on the charts, the world at large curious about this "vampire." Most people don't believe him, but there are a few who do. Among them is vampire researcher Jesse (Marguerite Moreau), who works at the London branch of a gathering of supernatural observers. They have kept watch over the vampires for years, but never intervene into their covens. Jesse believes that Lestat is attempting to force his fellow night-loving bloodsuckers into the open by cruelly exposing vampire secrets in the lyrics to his latest smash hits.

This enrages the vampires at large, who vow to kill Lestat live at his concert in Death Valley, California. Spending several hours reading through Lestat's lost journals, as supplied to her by a close friend (Paul McGann), Jesse wants to meet him in person. She goes to the London coven and is nearly attacked and killed by hostile guardians. Lestat then shows her what it is like to become a vampire, but the more she knows, the more she wants to share his bleak fate. There is another woman vying for his attentions. When Lestat was created by Maraus (Vincent Perez) in the seventeen hundreds, he drank the blood of a living statue, Queen Akasha (Aaliyah), former queen of Egypt, who ruled with relentless brutality. More humans were killed by her hand than a coven of a thousand vampires put together. Akasha has once more been awakened, and wants Lestat for her new king. Only Jesse's vampiric cousins (including Lena Olin) stand in her way.

If the plot sounds thin, that's because it is. This is one of the most poorly written films I've ever seen. Events take little or no time to transpire, hastening us toward an end without truly giving us a reason to hate Akasha. So she wakes up, transforms into a woman with serious rage issues, and kills a bunch of people. That doesn't explain to us why Lestat is so drawn to her, or why he would turn on her. I like my vampire stories to have a little meat to them, and this one is nothing but bone. Jesse is a great character, but under-developed. Marius was the most fascinating, but none of his motivations are ever explained. There's a heck of a twist ending, but I could have done with more. Depictions of vampires attacking people and feeding on them are graphic, always accompanied with bloody mouths and fangs afterward. Akasha rips out a beating heart (actual act not shown, but we see the heart in her hands, and her sucking on it). Vampires attack Lestat and others on stage and are slaughtered; one of them has its head cut off. Akasha kills an entire coven by causing them to burst into flames. A legion of vampires gang up against another, and drain her dry.

Lestat plays childish games with two girls who believe they've been brought to his mansion for sexual purposes; he then kills them. Jesse comes on to him several times, attempting to persuade him to lick blood from a cut on her upper chest. He behaves aggressively toward her in an alley, cutting her thumb and sucking it while demanding answers to his questions. There's no bad language, but the lyrics to a song have a muffled f-word, and there's one abuse of Jesus' name. Sexual content isn't overly graphic but some of the violence is presented in a sensual light, and the rest of it is creepy given Lestat's true intentions. There are lots of immodest outfits, and some nudity in artwork. Akasha wears a very revealing costume with two plates that cover her breast, leaving most of her torso and all of her bare back exposed. She and Lestat engage in a sexual romp that isn't explicit; they're in a tub full of water and rose petals, and she sucks his blood, and they kiss; there are many random shots in this sequence of them in bed together, but they're so out of focus you can't see anything.

When it comes to vampire movies, I'm no expert, but I do like some of Anne Rice's stuff, and this doesn't measure up to her level of talent. If you need a vampire fix, Underworld leaves a better aftertaste.