THE PACIFIER

REVIEWED BY CARISSA HORTON

Our rating: 4 out of 5

Because of: crude humor

Rated:  

Shane Wolfe (Vin Diesel) could easily be considered one of America's top Navy Seals. He's highly qualified for any assault or stealth job his superiors can throw at him, and he's now being sent on what may be his most dangerous mission ever; guarding five children single-handedly. Simple right? Easily done with no hassles involved. Life never works as planned. The kids are spread out in age from obnoxious teenager to adorable baby, and what's worse they do not want to obey him. Their father, killed in the line of duty, was in charge of a high priority mission called "ghost." It involved the disarming of nuclear weapons, and now the North Koreans want the program and are willing to do anything to get it. So while the mother, Julie Plummer (Faith Ford) and Shane's superior fly to Switzerland to recover "ghost" from a safe-deposit box, Shane is left alone with five children. Even the housekeeper can no longer tolerate the kids and deserts him.

And so Shane settles down into a semi-normal routine with five rebellious children. Needless to say, they were not off to the best of starts, considering the youngest daughter LuLu (Morgan York) emitted an ear-piercing shriek when she first saw him standing outside the front door. Shane has to deal with errant boyfriends, raucous teen parties, boy scout bullies, and the ever-present changing of the diapers, but somehow manages to pass with flying colors. And slowly you begin to notice changes in the kid's behavior, even the oldest two, Zoe (Brittany Snow) and Seth (Max Thieriot). They're more open and affectionate toward Shane and each other. No more of the wretched and cruel teasing or the cold unfeeling silences. They delve into the ideas of becoming a normal family and forming attachments to each other. Even dealing with their father's death plays an important part, and Shane has the starring role.

But the "ghost" is still at large and the guilty parties may surprise you. I wasn't sure what I would think when I headed off to the movie theater for a showing of The Pacifier. Would it be worthwhile and entertaining, or brimming with smut? I can honestly say that I was pleasantly surprised. This film paints American soldiers in a very good light, showing them for the honorable and upstanding men they truly are. Shane is tough, there's no denying that, but he's never mean and he never loses his temper. He's never violent or abusive in any way, and I definitely appreciated that aspect. He eases the kids out of their shells and helps them uncover their inner desires and dreams. The movie isn't perfect, but most of the difficulties can be easily overlooked. There's some crudity involved with the well-toned muscles of Shane's upper torso. LuLu constantly refers to them as "boobs," much to his chagrin and embarrassment and even shares her thoughts with her Firefly (alteration from Girl Scouts) division. During a wrestling match, one particular move is called the "nipple crippler" and though it's used on a guy, I wasn't very thrilled with the title. Language is practically nonexistent and hardly worth mentioning.

While Shane is a superb soldier, he has almost no knowledge whatever of caring for children, so his first efforts in diaper changing are a tad shaky. In an effort to recover a tracking device Zoe threw away, Shane takes a headlong dive into the sewer system and emerges covered in disgusting filth. Believable, yes, but also extremely stomach-turning. The kids deal with many issues, one of which being Seth's coach/gym teacher. By the end, even I was furious with him. Seth had no interest in wrestling whatsoever, and the coach hounded and exposed and belittled him with no thought as to the emotional consequences. LuLu and her Fireflies also have a couple of encounters with the male version of Fireflies, and these boys are mean. They don't exactly harm the girls physically, but their leader rips off LuLu's neckerchief and they tromp all over the cookies they were attempting to sell. That will change in the near future though as Shane gives LuLu and her friends training in the art of self-defense. Shane also teaches Zoe to drive. Her first several lessons proved to be a pure disaster and quite a terrifying ride.

Be prepared for an exceedingly bizarre housekeeper who refers to Seth as being reminiscent of Dracula stalking through the house. And when she finally leaves, she also gives a parting gift to Shane as he's trying to restrain her. I don't think she bit his neck very deeply, but he was quite shocked. There's the usual bit of explosions and near-death experiences, but nothing graphic that I can remember. Most is intriguing and entertaining. Apart from these things, which really aren't too disturbing, The Pacifier is heartwarming family fun. I know it's received a lot of poor reviews, but if you go in with an open mind, you'll be well-rewarded. Shane's relationship with the kids is beautiful. Somewhat rocky at first, but by the end they all adore him and I can hardly say that I blame them. Since it was my first Vin Diesel movie, I cannot judge him by previous roles, but I will say this. He may not be a perfect actor, but he definitely shone in the role of Shane Wolfe. I laughed more during this film than I have in a very long while and that's special. Not many movies are genuinely funny anymore, but this one deserves to be recognized for its humor and family values. 

During his adventures with the kids, Shane comes to realize that there is a life outside of his work. Life also involves getting married, raising kids and living happily ever after. How much he desired that outcome surprised him. And that to me is most precious. So many of our soldiers are going to come home scarred from what they've seen and experienced. Perhaps you'll understand what they're going through a bit better after watching The Pacifier.

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